Monday, August 27, 2007

so i just came back from la salsa and heard the best pick up line:

909 dude with lifted truck: hey you dropped a paper back there..
eileen: huh?
909 dude with lifted truck: yah.. it had my number on it.. here let me give it to you again

almost as good as:
damnilocano: thats like taking a sugar packet

damnilocano: and droppin it near a chick

damnilocano: and saying

damnilocano: oh i think you dropped your id

damnilocano: your name is sugar right


Thursday, August 23, 2007

"If I was a man, and pho was a woman, I'd have sex with her every night."
Turtle Tower Restaurant, SF, CA


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

is it possible to suck at the internet?
because I think I do.



Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It’s like being at mcdonalds and ordering a taco.
sometimes you just gotta order whats on the menu in life.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Compiled from random scraps of paper after cleaning out my purse:

I almost hit a duck today.
What the freak is a duck doing standing in the middle lane of Irvine center dr.?
makes you wonder what the other ducks could of possibly done to him to deserve such a fate.

it’s not about handshakes
and bullshit.

you should be looked over
not overlooked.

what is wrong with this: Ab Bb Cc

the real question should be
what is right?

people are so quick to judge

the concept of right
is so subjective


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

kato had the hiccups this morning.
imagine a two lb dog hopping across the carpet
and not knowing how the heck to stop it.


Friday, August 10, 2007

im a project manager,
i manage people’s time,
yet i don’t have time to manage my own.


Monday, August 06, 2007

Fortune cookie today said:
Stick to things as they are
distrust novelties.

but if we distrusted all novelties,
and stuck to the wheels as they turned,
how else would we live life to its fullest
or learn from our mistakes?



The boyfriend pillow.
I so need this tonight.


Friday, August 03, 2007

good golly geepers
my cousin carole has simpsonized me!


Thursday, August 02, 2007

If you died tomorrow,
what would people find in your house
that you’d be super embarrassed about?


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

"i'm the girl you don't want your man to be friends with."
is that not the lamest cheesiest gawd awful thing a girl could claim?
there are many reasons why i detest this comment.
first and foremost, if your woman was taking care of business at home <coughcough> you know what im saying.. then there would be no need for this other "friend girl" in the picture unless she was down for the git down and ready to mingle in a tri- athalon sexsion in which case she would merely be a prop and not be allowed to engage in the direct activities aforementioned.
second, if you have to say something like that to boost your own ego, then you probably aren't that hot. A true temptress is modest and oblivious to the fact that any guy would drop their girlfriend in a second even if it meant just being in the same room with the hot girl long enough for her to remember his name. geez that was a super run on sentence and its late and i dont want to change it so deal with it.
third, but probably parallel in importance to the first and foremost, is holy shizzo.. i just killed the hugest spider that was crawling towards Kato.  he freaked out because he thought it was food ahaha.. the spider was as big as his paw though foreals. ewwww.. ok sorry tangent. back to what i was saying.. the third reason is anybody who is in the know, KNOWssss that you keep your friends close but your enemies even closer. bottom line, if you are trying to snag some girls man, you should probably focus your energy becoming the chicks best friend and weasel your way to home base.
maybe thats why i dont have too many girlfriends? damn weasel's steal my men!